Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
