did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
