4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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