Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
