So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
