someone owes me an orgasm
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
