So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Say something about gay babies.
Everything about him screamed your future.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
