You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
