I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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