All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
