Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
