i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
