Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
