I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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