having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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