i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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