i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
