worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
