I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
