i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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