margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
