BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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