My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
