How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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