Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
