I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
