I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
