Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
