Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
