Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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