How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
