Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
