It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
