I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
