Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
