I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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