You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
