she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
These tits shall not be calmed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
