i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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