He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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