sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
