So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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