So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
