watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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