i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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