Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
