I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
whose parrot is this?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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