Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
