He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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