coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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