I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
