he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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