You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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